I could sit here and cry all day...
i could ask in every different way why this happened...
I could beg on my knees to undo everything that's been said and done...
because this hurts so much.
but these years have been the most messy and complicated anyway.
it was left to hang in the air...because after it all...no one spoke...we covered up the insecurities...we tried our best to keep our feelings secret...so that we could all get on with each other still close.
i tried to move on...i tried to make a future for myself....
looking for the love i couldn't find in them...
the relationship that could satisfy my lonely days...
but i didn't want to lose them still...i didn't want to make them hurt seeing me with someone else......of course that was inevitable....
but i had supported them when they were with others..........
but still they say.....
that they never got over me...
that no one else was good enough....
like i'm the only person on the planet to them.
I'll apologize now...
and i'll leave them be.....maybe for good...maybe for a little while...

i'm more than happy with this person...
i'm safe and content in his arms...
there isn't anything to cross my mind when he tells me he's here for me...
that in this situation that should be unneccesary and ridiculous...i feel sad and guilty...for trying to be happy with someone else while trying to keep my best friends....the friends who i thought had moved on as well.....
what am i to do?
i can't leave and go back to choosing between them..and they've been given chances and blew it....

so eventhough this hurts...because i'm facing it now...because of all the memories we've made...because of all the happy and sad times...because they were always by my side....
it will all pass...

time will keep ticking...and their hearts will be in new places...
i can only wish them love and happiness...and that they find a better person.
there's too many others out there...
i wasn't perfect...
and i'm not the only one with the potential to love.

let me hold you close...let me look into your eyes before i say goodbye...let me remember and cry my eyes out for you...let me beg you to keep being by my side like you always have...let me be angry at you for being so selfish...let me leave you to see another bright day...and someday you'll thank me for it...as i thank you now.